James sent me an email yesterday. Indulge me, it is so cute and special to me...
I loveyYyyyyyyyyyyooooouu Mommy
Yes, James has his own iphone, no I didn't give it to him, yes it is excessive and inappropriate. Talk to his father about it, shockingly, he was the one that gave it to him. In all fairness, it was my old iphone and he cannot make calls with it. Jay thought he would enjoy playing games, taking pictures and using the different apps on it. Since we have wireless in our house, Jay set it up so that if he is in the house he can read, receive and send emails. It is a great way for Jay to connect with him when he is traveling and working late. The best part for me is he has stopped playing with my phone! The thing that cracks me up about the whole situation is Jay will put him to bed, put the phone away and tell him no more phone, it's time for bed. Then James will get it off the shelf, start playing with it, and we will find out and come and take it away. He is always so shocked that we know he is playing with the phone. How do we know? He sends us emails! HAHAHAHAAHA! First rule of not getting caught, don't do things that advertise the fact you are playing with it when you aren't supposed to. It's moments like this that remind me that he is only 6.....
If you want James' email to send him a message, email me and I will pass it on to you.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Awesome Insights....
Wow, this is awesome. I found this on Kris Karr (Crazy, Sexy Cancer book author's site) Although she doesn't have breast cancer, I think her site still is helpful for me. I couldn't agree with this list more. Although I have to admit that I still have quite a bit of vanity left in me, so #5 should probably be tweeked a bit.....
I should probably make sure that people that come in contact with me have a copy of this list. Hopefully, they read my blog :) !
By Lissa Rankin MD on December 28, 2011
10 Things I Learned from People Who Survive Cancer
When I interviewed women who had survived breast cancer for my art project The Woman Inside, I noticed that they all had one remarkable thing in common.
They had all faced down death and decided to live every day like it might be their last. And then they all beat cancer.
The more interviews I did, the more I noticed that these women were living differently than most of the people I knew who had not been diagnosed with cancer. Here’s what I learned from those survivor women. Learning these lessons changed my life, and I hope they’ll change yours.
1. Be unapologetically YOU. People who survive cancer get feisty. They walk around bald in shopping malls and roll their eyes if people look at them funny. They say what they think. They laugh often. They don’t make excuses. They wear purple muumuus when they want to.
2. Don’t take shit from people. People who survive cancer stop trying to please everybody. They give up caring what everybody else thinks. If you might die in a year anyway (and every single one of us could), who gives a flip if your great aunt Gertrude is going to cut you out of her will unless you kiss her ass?
3. Learn to say no. People with cancer say no when they don’t feel like going to the gala. They avoid gatherings when they’d prefer to be alone. They don’t let themselves get pressured into doing things they really don’t want to do.
4. Get angry. Then get over it. People who survive cancer get in your face. They question you. They feel their anger. They refuse to be doormats. They demand respect. They feel it. Then they forgive. They let go. They surrender. They don’t stay pissed. They release resentment.
5. Don’t obsess about beauty. People who survive cancer no longer worry about whether they have perfect hair, whether their makeup looks spotless, or whether their boobs are perky enough. They’re happy just to have boobs (if they still do). They’re happy to be alive in their skin, even if it’s wrinkled.
6. Do it now. Stop deferring happiness. People who survive cancer realize that you can’t wait until you kick the bucket to do what you’re dying to do. Quit that soul-sucking job now. Leave that deadbeat husband. Prioritize joy. They live like they mean it.
7. Say “I love you” often. People who survive cancer leave no words left unspoken. You never know when your time is up. Don’t risk having someone you love not know it.
8. Take care of your body. People who survive cancer have a whole new appreciation for health. Those who haven’t been there may take it for granted. So stop smoking. Eat healthy. Drink in moderation. Maintain a healthy weight. Avoid putting toxic poisons in your God pod. Get enough sleep.
9. Prioritize freedom. People who survive cancer know that being a workaholic isn’t the answer. Money can’t buy health. Security doesn’t matter if you’re six feet under. Sixteen hours a day of being a stress monster is only going to make you sick. As Tim Ferriss writes in “The 4-Hour Workweek,” “Gold is getting old. The New Rich are those who abandon the deferred-life plan and create luxury lifestyles in the present using the currency of the New Rich: time and mobility.”
10. Take risks. People who survive cancer have faced their fear and told it to go to hell. They know life is for living. Fear is powerless. And joy lies in taking risks. So go skydiving if you want. Bungee jump. Hang glide. Spend your savings. Live like you might die tomorrow.
Are you doing these things? Or are you waiting for cancer to test out how much you want to live?
Don’t wait for cancer, my love. Don’t tempt the universe that way.
Be brave enough to live now.
For more on how to optimize your life, visit owningpink.com.
I should probably make sure that people that come in contact with me have a copy of this list. Hopefully, they read my blog :) !
By Lissa Rankin MD on December 28, 2011
10 Things I Learned from People Who Survive Cancer
When I interviewed women who had survived breast cancer for my art project The Woman Inside, I noticed that they all had one remarkable thing in common.
They had all faced down death and decided to live every day like it might be their last. And then they all beat cancer.
The more interviews I did, the more I noticed that these women were living differently than most of the people I knew who had not been diagnosed with cancer. Here’s what I learned from those survivor women. Learning these lessons changed my life, and I hope they’ll change yours.
1. Be unapologetically YOU. People who survive cancer get feisty. They walk around bald in shopping malls and roll their eyes if people look at them funny. They say what they think. They laugh often. They don’t make excuses. They wear purple muumuus when they want to.
2. Don’t take shit from people. People who survive cancer stop trying to please everybody. They give up caring what everybody else thinks. If you might die in a year anyway (and every single one of us could), who gives a flip if your great aunt Gertrude is going to cut you out of her will unless you kiss her ass?
3. Learn to say no. People with cancer say no when they don’t feel like going to the gala. They avoid gatherings when they’d prefer to be alone. They don’t let themselves get pressured into doing things they really don’t want to do.
4. Get angry. Then get over it. People who survive cancer get in your face. They question you. They feel their anger. They refuse to be doormats. They demand respect. They feel it. Then they forgive. They let go. They surrender. They don’t stay pissed. They release resentment.
5. Don’t obsess about beauty. People who survive cancer no longer worry about whether they have perfect hair, whether their makeup looks spotless, or whether their boobs are perky enough. They’re happy just to have boobs (if they still do). They’re happy to be alive in their skin, even if it’s wrinkled.
6. Do it now. Stop deferring happiness. People who survive cancer realize that you can’t wait until you kick the bucket to do what you’re dying to do. Quit that soul-sucking job now. Leave that deadbeat husband. Prioritize joy. They live like they mean it.
7. Say “I love you” often. People who survive cancer leave no words left unspoken. You never know when your time is up. Don’t risk having someone you love not know it.
8. Take care of your body. People who survive cancer have a whole new appreciation for health. Those who haven’t been there may take it for granted. So stop smoking. Eat healthy. Drink in moderation. Maintain a healthy weight. Avoid putting toxic poisons in your God pod. Get enough sleep.
9. Prioritize freedom. People who survive cancer know that being a workaholic isn’t the answer. Money can’t buy health. Security doesn’t matter if you’re six feet under. Sixteen hours a day of being a stress monster is only going to make you sick. As Tim Ferriss writes in “The 4-Hour Workweek,” “Gold is getting old. The New Rich are those who abandon the deferred-life plan and create luxury lifestyles in the present using the currency of the New Rich: time and mobility.”
10. Take risks. People who survive cancer have faced their fear and told it to go to hell. They know life is for living. Fear is powerless. And joy lies in taking risks. So go skydiving if you want. Bungee jump. Hang glide. Spend your savings. Live like you might die tomorrow.
Are you doing these things? Or are you waiting for cancer to test out how much you want to live?
Don’t wait for cancer, my love. Don’t tempt the universe that way.
Be brave enough to live now.
For more on how to optimize your life, visit owningpink.com.
Quote from an Oak Park Native
The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places.
Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms, 1929
US author & journalist (1899 - 1961)
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Parallel Universe
Being diagnosed is kind of like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Aren't quite sure where you are, you are trusting those around you to help you navigate the unknown, and no matter the outcome you will never be the same. Unlike Alice, as hard as you try, you cannot wake up from this dream universe.
I ended treatment on may 5th and had reconstruction on august 16th. I have been trying to put myself back together since then, and life has been a very good distraction. Hard to think about things when you are driving to school three times a day, organizing three major fundraisers, working a CAbi business, substitute teaching and managing a household. Still some days are hard. Sometimes too hard. A person I "know" from internet groups is diagnosed with cancer again, or it has spread, or dies. That is hard to take and I know that as much as all the cancer commercials in October state "I chose to fight" it is not about choosing to fight. I know very few women who have died from cancer who say "yes, I'd like to die now.". It is not a matter of how hard you fight. Just like you can think of some people that hardly work and are rolling in dough and others who work three jobs and are barely making ends meet.
Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I feel people can't relate to me, or maybe they are just being polite talking to me and don't really like me all that much. My insecurities seem to bubble to the top more easily now. After all, I am this scarred' disfigured person who has gone through all these experiences that most people cannot relate too, especially people in their mid 30's. Plus, my mind fails me sometimes. I can't remember names as easily as I once did, I make stupid mistakes and sometimes my mouth is faster than my brain. I have hot flashes. They are
terrible. For those of you that have not experienced them yet, they happen at the most
inopportune times. Obviously they are very emotion based. Having anxiety? Bam, hot flash. Kids getting the best of your patience? Hot flash. Running late? Hot flash. Giving a presentation or talking to a group of people? Hot flash. Flight or flight reactions to the 9th degree. It stinks. And it is not supposed to happen to someone in their 30's. Still, I'd take it without one complaint if doctors could say "hey, do all these really crappy things, and I guarantee you can live a long full life.". Except, no one can tell me that. They instead say things like "we can try this... We recommend that... Research has shown..." not exactly reassuring. So yes, all this stinks. But on the flip side, I am not alone. My mom told me the other day that she recently heard there are 12 million cancer survivors. Wow! I am certainly not alone. Still, I sure would like to meet someone who is just like me and could me my new best friend through this journey.
I think some of the issue, maybe most of the issue, is that you just have no control over all this. You can't train hard enough, eat the right foods, exercise x amount of minutes, not do this, do do this, give up that, and you will be guaranteed a long healthy future. I sometimes feel like parts of my life were taken, and I just never can be the same. And it makes me sad. In some ways this experience has been good, as funny as that sounds. I feel like I have gained some insight, learned what is important, learned how much the human race is willing to do for another human being, gained confidence and come out a stronger person.
Still some days my heart just aches and I wish there was some way to make it all better. I just want someone to fix it, but some things just can the fixed.
But things can get put back together, mended, and still admired.
An interesting article about the rise of cancer survivorsv...
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/11/health/11cancer.html
I ended treatment on may 5th and had reconstruction on august 16th. I have been trying to put myself back together since then, and life has been a very good distraction. Hard to think about things when you are driving to school three times a day, organizing three major fundraisers, working a CAbi business, substitute teaching and managing a household. Still some days are hard. Sometimes too hard. A person I "know" from internet groups is diagnosed with cancer again, or it has spread, or dies. That is hard to take and I know that as much as all the cancer commercials in October state "I chose to fight" it is not about choosing to fight. I know very few women who have died from cancer who say "yes, I'd like to die now.". It is not a matter of how hard you fight. Just like you can think of some people that hardly work and are rolling in dough and others who work three jobs and are barely making ends meet.
Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I feel people can't relate to me, or maybe they are just being polite talking to me and don't really like me all that much. My insecurities seem to bubble to the top more easily now. After all, I am this scarred' disfigured person who has gone through all these experiences that most people cannot relate too, especially people in their mid 30's. Plus, my mind fails me sometimes. I can't remember names as easily as I once did, I make stupid mistakes and sometimes my mouth is faster than my brain. I have hot flashes. They are
terrible. For those of you that have not experienced them yet, they happen at the most
inopportune times. Obviously they are very emotion based. Having anxiety? Bam, hot flash. Kids getting the best of your patience? Hot flash. Running late? Hot flash. Giving a presentation or talking to a group of people? Hot flash. Flight or flight reactions to the 9th degree. It stinks. And it is not supposed to happen to someone in their 30's. Still, I'd take it without one complaint if doctors could say "hey, do all these really crappy things, and I guarantee you can live a long full life.". Except, no one can tell me that. They instead say things like "we can try this... We recommend that... Research has shown..." not exactly reassuring. So yes, all this stinks. But on the flip side, I am not alone. My mom told me the other day that she recently heard there are 12 million cancer survivors. Wow! I am certainly not alone. Still, I sure would like to meet someone who is just like me and could me my new best friend through this journey.
I think some of the issue, maybe most of the issue, is that you just have no control over all this. You can't train hard enough, eat the right foods, exercise x amount of minutes, not do this, do do this, give up that, and you will be guaranteed a long healthy future. I sometimes feel like parts of my life were taken, and I just never can be the same. And it makes me sad. In some ways this experience has been good, as funny as that sounds. I feel like I have gained some insight, learned what is important, learned how much the human race is willing to do for another human being, gained confidence and come out a stronger person.
Still some days my heart just aches and I wish there was some way to make it all better. I just want someone to fix it, but some things just can the fixed.
But things can get put back together, mended, and still admired.
An interesting article about the rise of cancer survivorsv...
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/11/health/11cancer.html
Saturday, December 10, 2011
Katie at Ballet Class
Katie loves to dance and she really loves her Ballet class. She has been taking these classes for a few month now. Kari had a chance to sit in a watch a class. Here are a few of the videos that she took.
You can catch more videos of Katie dancing at the team4harris channel on YouTube at this link.
You can catch more videos of Katie dancing at the team4harris channel on YouTube at this link.
Breakfast with Santa
James, Katie and I joined my mom, Tricia, Marc, Brady & Becket at the Brookfield Zoo this morning to have breakfast with Santa. It was really well organized and the kids had a great time. Here are some of the highlights.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
James' Christmas Pageant...
James had his first Christmas pageant at St. Giles yesterday. He and Katie put on their holiday finest in preparation for the affair.
From there, we headed off to the church.
James did great. Here are videos of the two songs that he performed with his class.
From there, we headed off to the church.
James did great. Here are videos of the two songs that he performed with his class.
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