One of my favorite things....

is story time!  When I taught second grade, one of my favorite parts of the day was reading aloud to the children. Here is a picture of me reading with the kids before bedtime the other night.  I love that they love to read books, and they have favorites.  Even though we have SO MANY books from my teaching days, they have about 20 favorite books they always reach for when I let them chose the books at bedtime.  We read so many repeatedly, that Katie has them memorized.  It is fun to see James starting to read too.  He is getting really good at reading, and sounding out unknown words.  By the end of the summer I think he will be reading me bedtime stories!

The end of The Oprah Show...

I'm sitting here watching Oprah's united center tapings and I am just in awe. I love Oprah, and I know not all do, but you have to admit she has done some amazing things. I just kept thinking how cool it would have been to be there, to see the show in person. Then I thought how wonderful that she got to hear all these wonderful things about herself, from all these wonderful people that are important to her. I was imagining being her, having these people say such wonderful things, list your accomplishments and tell you how much they love you, value you and changed them for the better. Then I realized, I do know how Oprah feels right now, in this moment, because I have felt it. I have had the opportunity to stand in a room, on a night planned in my honor, surrounded by family and friends to support me. And it has happened more than once!

This week, more than once, and in different situations I have heard how I am such an inspiration to people, how I have taught them so much, how they are in awe of me and how I am making a difference in people's lives. It is very touching to hear and surprising at the same time. Really. My words and actions are not said or done with that thought or purpose. Maybe I am naive, or maybe it was the way that I was raised, the values that were instilled, but I just follow some simple rules. I treat others as the way I'd like to be treated, I look for the best in people, I try to be as helpful as I can, and I am sympathetic to the person and the situation. These things make me feel good, helpful and useful. It can also get me in trouble. I sometimes don't see the motive that other people have in their thoughts and actions, and then I am truly surprised when something happens that has a negative outcome. But my favorite is when I tell jay or my mom the story of what happened they always say the same thing "why are you surprised?". I can remember being in fourth grade and a friend asked the teacher during math if they could go to the bathroom. As they walked out of the room I noticed that the belt on her pants was all twisted up and the buckle had moved from her was it to her side (see I've been into fashion for a long time...). A few minutes later my friend came back to the classroom and I noticed her belt was still the same. I pointed it out to her a little while later and asked her how come she didn't fix it after she went to the bathroom. That's when she told me she didn't go to the bathroom. She just wanted to get out of class, roam around and take a break. I was shocked. It had never crossed my mind to do something like that. When I think back to that story, I laugh. I laugh at the fact that I was so shocked, that I had never had that thought before, and that to this day, I still feel guilty if I don't do something I think I should do.
Getting back to my original surprise at people's comments this week, I am touched and glad to hear what they have to say, but I don't feel like I have tried very hard to set out to be an inspiration or help others. I just try to be helpful, teach others what I have learned, and share connections or ideas. I also have a great group of women I know in various circles, who are like-minded and we help one another out. This is kind of how I imagine Oprah's world being. She is a good person, who surrounds herself with people she likes and cares for, who in turn like and care for her. You have mutual respect for each other, work hard for each other and do things that will make the other a better person. I will continue to surround myself with people I respect, participate in things I deem worthy, share things I have learned, and treat people the way I want to be treated. I learn from people every day, and it is humbling to know that people learn from me.
I feel good about myself. I go to sleep at night counting my blessings, being thankful for the day and knowing that I tried hard to make the right decision throughout the day. I don't do what is always easiest, I do what I feel is right. I don't say these things to sound self-righteous, as I hope you aren't thinking, who does she think she is? Rather I say this because I am truly humbled and shocked that so many people view me as an inspiration. I have never really been the popular one, part of the in crowd, or really viewed myself as one who would be looked up to by others. But it appears that I have made an impact on others, at some level, and I am glad. And I am glad that I had the opportunity to hear it from friends, and I am happy to be able to tell others how they have inspired or helped me.
One last story... When I was an undergrad at Western Michigan University, in one of my first education classes, I had a very impactful teacher. He was impactful because you could just tell he loved what he was doing, and he wanted the best for us. He held our attention and I don't think anyone ever skipped his class or watched the clock. Towards the end of the last class he asked us to summarize the "Tyler Principle" for him. We all sat there, not wanting to disappoint him, not wanting to admit we didn't know what he was talking about, racking our brains to try to remember this principle. He finally turned on the overhead and a picture of a little boy came on the screen. He said this is Tyler, he's my son, and the Tyler principle is a rule I follow every day. Every day when I walk in to this classroom I treat you the way I would treat my son, and how I hope everyone my son encounters treats him.
That story has stuck with me and from that moment on, I have tried to do just that.

A day at the Zoo...

Kari had a morning of activities with one of her Church groups, so I took the opportunity to enjoy the weather with the kids and the Brookfield Zoo.  Here are some of the highlights.

Enjoy!

Jay

The kids were fascinated by the crocodile, so I thought that I'd throw it in.

Catching up on posting...

James is an inventor and builder. He makes pretty interesting and intricate things with what he can find laying around the house. He is particularly amazed with marbles and ways to move them.

Kari and I got in the habit of saving wine corks. They sit in a large glass vase in our dining room. I am somewhat shocked and amazed (disturbed) with the number of corks that James counted. Since Kari has been unable to drink for the past year, I think that I may have a problem.

Anyway... enjoy the video.



Jay

Lost Teeth...

James came home from school yesterday all proud to show off a loose tooth in his mouth. He ran into our bedroom this morning with a little baby tooth in his hands. He lost his first tooth!

Here he is with his new grin. The tooth fairy will be visiting tonight.

Jay

Complete!

I know that it has been almost a week since radiation ended, and I have not made a new update.  So sorry. 

On May 5th, I had Jay take the kids to school in the morning, as it was Katie's last day of preschool and I knew I'd cry when I dropped her off.  I love her school, a preschool program run out of Concordia University in River Forest.  Her teachers and fellow classmates are wonderful, and she has such a good time there.  However, with my treatment ending, I couldn't justify her continuing and her session ended on May 5th.  She is very excited though about her new school, Academy of Music and Movement, where she will attend a summer program on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. 

I really wanted to end my radiation on May 5th, as it has a lot of meaning to me.  Jay and I were engaged on May 5th, 2001.  I found it fitting that a journey would end on the anniversary of a milestone beginning.  I had my last treatment, said good bye to my techs and waiting room buddies, and walked to the parking garage.  I turned on the car and the radio came on and I just couldn't believe it, with the kind of timing in a chick flick, Katy Perry's Firework was playing and the line "After the hurricane, comes a rainbow" came blasting through my speakers.  I just started crying.  I felt like it was a sign from God that all was going to be ok.  The crying felt good, a way to release some of the tension of radiation.  Although radiation doesn't necessarily hurt, I always found myself very tense during each treatment.   But then I remembered I had to go back and turn in my parking pass.  crap.  So I pulled myself together and ran my parking pass back into radiation oncology.

I then continued on to my next task of the day, which is another post for another day.... 

Last Week of Radiation!

Today starts my last week of radiation!  Yeah!  Although it is not nearly as terrible as chemo, I am still happy to be entering the end phase of this process.  I have Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday to go!  Someone I "met" via email gave me a great suggestion to count down the days of radiation: scratch off lottery tickets!  I bought one for the remaining days of radiation (11 was left when she gave me this idea) and scratch one off after each treatment.  So far, I have "won" two free tickets and $1.  Whoot Whoot!  Although I like to think I am getting a much bigger payoff than lottery ticket winnings.  You can completely tell where my radiation treatment is occurring now.  Everything in the 10 inch x 7 inch square area (yes I measured) is bright red and my underarm is peeling and raw.  Not pretty.  Actually made my mom cry today when she saw it.  I actually thought it didn't look too bad, but guess it does if it makes someone cry when they see it....   I still don't have much pain, as I don't have much feeling there.  I do have feeling but I draw the parallel to when you go to the dentist and they numb an area and it starts wearing off and you poke yourself and you know you are poking a lot harder than your feeling, yet you can still feel it.  That's what my reconstructed area feels like. 

Jay and I are meeting for a celebration lunch Tuesday, at Big Bowl.  Haven't been there in ages.  We actually had our rehearsal dinner there for our wedding, that's how much we used to love it.  They better still have crispy lemon chicken!  I'm excited for a lunch out. 

That's about all that is new here.  Hanging in there, happy to see the sunshine, and looking forward to getting some energy back soon.