The end of The Oprah Show...

I'm sitting here watching Oprah's united center tapings and I am just in awe. I love Oprah, and I know not all do, but you have to admit she has done some amazing things. I just kept thinking how cool it would have been to be there, to see the show in person. Then I thought how wonderful that she got to hear all these wonderful things about herself, from all these wonderful people that are important to her. I was imagining being her, having these people say such wonderful things, list your accomplishments and tell you how much they love you, value you and changed them for the better. Then I realized, I do know how Oprah feels right now, in this moment, because I have felt it. I have had the opportunity to stand in a room, on a night planned in my honor, surrounded by family and friends to support me. And it has happened more than once!

This week, more than once, and in different situations I have heard how I am such an inspiration to people, how I have taught them so much, how they are in awe of me and how I am making a difference in people's lives. It is very touching to hear and surprising at the same time. Really. My words and actions are not said or done with that thought or purpose. Maybe I am naive, or maybe it was the way that I was raised, the values that were instilled, but I just follow some simple rules. I treat others as the way I'd like to be treated, I look for the best in people, I try to be as helpful as I can, and I am sympathetic to the person and the situation. These things make me feel good, helpful and useful. It can also get me in trouble. I sometimes don't see the motive that other people have in their thoughts and actions, and then I am truly surprised when something happens that has a negative outcome. But my favorite is when I tell jay or my mom the story of what happened they always say the same thing "why are you surprised?". I can remember being in fourth grade and a friend asked the teacher during math if they could go to the bathroom. As they walked out of the room I noticed that the belt on her pants was all twisted up and the buckle had moved from her was it to her side (see I've been into fashion for a long time...). A few minutes later my friend came back to the classroom and I noticed her belt was still the same. I pointed it out to her a little while later and asked her how come she didn't fix it after she went to the bathroom. That's when she told me she didn't go to the bathroom. She just wanted to get out of class, roam around and take a break. I was shocked. It had never crossed my mind to do something like that. When I think back to that story, I laugh. I laugh at the fact that I was so shocked, that I had never had that thought before, and that to this day, I still feel guilty if I don't do something I think I should do.
Getting back to my original surprise at people's comments this week, I am touched and glad to hear what they have to say, but I don't feel like I have tried very hard to set out to be an inspiration or help others. I just try to be helpful, teach others what I have learned, and share connections or ideas. I also have a great group of women I know in various circles, who are like-minded and we help one another out. This is kind of how I imagine Oprah's world being. She is a good person, who surrounds herself with people she likes and cares for, who in turn like and care for her. You have mutual respect for each other, work hard for each other and do things that will make the other a better person. I will continue to surround myself with people I respect, participate in things I deem worthy, share things I have learned, and treat people the way I want to be treated. I learn from people every day, and it is humbling to know that people learn from me.
I feel good about myself. I go to sleep at night counting my blessings, being thankful for the day and knowing that I tried hard to make the right decision throughout the day. I don't do what is always easiest, I do what I feel is right. I don't say these things to sound self-righteous, as I hope you aren't thinking, who does she think she is? Rather I say this because I am truly humbled and shocked that so many people view me as an inspiration. I have never really been the popular one, part of the in crowd, or really viewed myself as one who would be looked up to by others. But it appears that I have made an impact on others, at some level, and I am glad. And I am glad that I had the opportunity to hear it from friends, and I am happy to be able to tell others how they have inspired or helped me.
One last story... When I was an undergrad at Western Michigan University, in one of my first education classes, I had a very impactful teacher. He was impactful because you could just tell he loved what he was doing, and he wanted the best for us. He held our attention and I don't think anyone ever skipped his class or watched the clock. Towards the end of the last class he asked us to summarize the "Tyler Principle" for him. We all sat there, not wanting to disappoint him, not wanting to admit we didn't know what he was talking about, racking our brains to try to remember this principle. He finally turned on the overhead and a picture of a little boy came on the screen. He said this is Tyler, he's my son, and the Tyler principle is a rule I follow every day. Every day when I walk in to this classroom I treat you the way I would treat my son, and how I hope everyone my son encounters treats him.
That story has stuck with me and from that moment on, I have tried to do just that.