awake, finally!

Hi everyone, it's Kari.  I am rather weak and tired, but wanted to post something.  I cannot believe Memorial Day was only last weekend- it feels like an eternity ago.  Monday night and Tuesday night were restless nights.  The study drug gave me a terrible sore throat, and that coupled with the anxiety of the upcoming surgery just wouldn't let me sleep.  I went to church on Tuesday morning with the kids and met with Father Carl, who prayed with me and I received annointing of the sick.  James played on the floor in the room and Katie sat on the chair next to me.  As we were praying I looked over at Katie and she was sitting with her hands folded in prayer, head bent and muttering.  I swear she was praying with us.  I went to my pre-op testing appointment on Tuesday afternoon and then got my sugery time 6:30am.  6:30 came bright and early, and with a lot of emotion.  I had a hard time getting ready on Wednesday morning, and half of it was I really wanted to kiss my babies before surgery, but since it was so early in the morning, we had to take them to my mother in law's the night before.  Jay was really sweet and made things better by showing me some pictures and playing some voice recordings James had made on our iphones.  Who knew trying to occupy James by letting him play with my iphone would turn out to be so comforting to me?!? We got to the hospital and checked in, and Jay stayed with me until they had to take me to pre-op.  My parents arrived about 7:30 and they got to spend time with me beforehand as well.  My surgeon and plastic surgeon came in before the surgery to see me, and that was reassuring.  It also felt good to know that I had so many people praying for me.  The last thing I remember was being rolled into a really big room with a lot of people and supplies waiting for me....

I kept thinking when I couldn't sleep the night before about the Chicago Marathon.  For the last few years my brother Rob, my brother in law Greg and sister in law Tracy and Jay have run in it.  I remember on those mornings waking up and thinking it's 7:30 and they are starting, it's 8:30 and they are still running, it's 9:30 and they are still running, it's 10:30 and their still running.  I thought of all the things I was doing, all while they were running for hours.  I felt like my surgery was like the Chicago Marathon and I kind of felt like I was more concerned for everyone who was waiting for my surgery to be over than for me.  I had the easy part, I just had to sleep.  I felt bad for all the people waiting to hear news.  I am thankful that Jay and my parents were in the waiting room fielding updates for the surgical team, and I am thankful for my Aunt Rosemary, Uncle Paul, Aunt Nancy and Sue for spending the day with them.  I know that it was comforting to them to have those people there.  I am also thankful to my mother in law and father in law for watching James and Katie during my surgery. 

After I came out of surgery, I don't remember much except feeling pain and then feeling sick.  I waffled between feeling pain, getting medication, getting sick, feeling pain, trying a new medication, feeling sick, etc.  The cycle lasted Wed night, all day Thursday night and until about 2pm on Friday when I finally gave up and just decided to take tylenol and deal with the rest of the pain rather than keep throwing up.  Because if any of you know me well, you know what a baby I am when it comes to being sick.  I am so grateful that my mom was there with me the entire time, sleeping on a little couch, freezing right under the cold air conditioning vent.  I was touched by all the visitors, phone calls, flowers and cards I received.  I am also thankful for my dad who stayed at my house on from Wed night to Friday night to be with my kids.  I am so glad they had their Papa Bede to play with and take care of them, as they love their Papa Bede very much and he is very good with them! 

I came home on Friday night about 8pm, and it was nice to be in my own bed and see my Katie sleeping.  I miss James, but I am sure he is having a great time with his cousins.  I am so grateful that my brother in law Greg took him downstate on Friday to my other brother and law and sister in law, Tracy and Chuck's house for the week.  He will have a great time with his cousins! 

Since I have been home, I have been resting, sleeping, watching tv, and listening to books on tape.  Thank goodness for my iphone so I could read some emails and today I am feeling good enough to spend a little time on my laptop. Yesterday my brother Rob and his wife Audrey come over with their twin girls Caroline and Olivia and they played with Katie and took all the girls for a walk.  Thank you Krupa Family of 4!   I also had a nice visit with my Aunt Aggie, Uncle Richard and cousin Meridith who stopped by today. 

My mom is going to be staying with us for at least a week.  It is so nice to have my mom, an RN with me 24/7.  My dad is  helping out too, and it is so nice to have them taking care of me and Katie. 

I am looking forward to feeling better and stronger each day.  Next week I have three appointments with the doctors to figure out the next steps and chart a plan of action.  I know I will have two more surgeries before this journey is over, and some sort of treatment.  I am thankful for all my friends and family, and my doctors.  Keep praying please!