Half Way There!

Hi all!  I am typing this one handed and although I wanted to not post again until Tuesday, I thought it was important to post an update.  I have made it to the half way point of radiation.  yeah!  Now the reason why I am typing one handed? My skin is starting to "turn" and I have been instructed to lay for one hour a day, arm over my head, radiation area slathered in aquaphor with a fan blowing on it.  Why? I don't know, but it must help in some capacity.  And even though I'm tired, I can't sit still as it is not a comfortable position.  I am tired, so tired, my skin is getting red and yucky, and I am struggling to get all the things I need to get done every day.  I am tired but it is hard to rest when your hand is over your head and you're freezing from a fan blowing on you.  I just have to stay positive, look at how close I am to being done and suck it up- it could be worse.  Plus, I am not in any pain since I really have no feeling in the radiated area from my surgery.  My radiation area is fairly large and runs from above my collarbone, across my shoulder, under my arm, down my side and across my chest.  They are treating me agressively and doing all they can to deliver it as safe as possible.  They are radiating a tiny part of my lung and that scares me, a lot. 

My radiation experience has overall been very positive.  My techs are usually the same and wonderful, the room is the same, the waiting room is nice, it's a quick process and Loyola finally gave me a parking pass!  What is not cool is even though they did all these measurements, gave me three tattoos (real tattoos, that I will always have) to line me up, take xrays each week and perform all these rituals to deliver the radiation consistently in the right area and in the safest way, I have lost a few pounds and have thrown all that preplanning off.  So, each time I go now it's move this way, move that way, lift up, squeeze down and there is even days where they resort to taping me to the table to move parts out of the way.  Makes me want to run out and eat a big ice cream sundae and gain a few pounds back!  However, I am trying to eat healthier and make better food choices, as well as get back into my clothes that are too small.   Plus, it is not even 5 pounds that I've lost, but last week they told me that losing even one pound can throw everything off.  Something else I didn't know about radiation.  But, I am impressed with the techs and how hard they work to get it exactly right and if they are unsure, they double check, triple check and bring someone else in to check their work.  All that makes me feel like I am receiving the best care and am in the best hands.  It is still frightening to think that I could be going through all this and one day, one cell that resisted all this treatment could attach somewhere new and grow, and I can be in this hell again.  I chose to have that thought, realize that yes that might happen, but it hasn't yet, and maybe, hopefully, God-willing, never will, and then LET IT GO!